Breastfeeding Woes

Breastfeeding has been a source of stress for me. I've been feeling bad about it because I have been mixed feeding. Actually, instead of formula milk being the supplement, breast milk has been the supplement. I feel that I am a failure at breastfeeding because I cannot provide for the requirements of my twins.

I really wish I read up on breastfeeding while I was pregnant. A lot of my friends were telling me to breastfeed and I though it was so easy. I didn't know that it was really hard work and can be really painful.

I wasn't informed about a lot of things. My husband and yaya were not so well informed also. Hence, we went for bottle and formula feeding just 4 days after my babies were born. I felt so bad. They were crying and we thought they were hungry even after nursing. Plus I developed sore nipples at that time. After that, it was difficult to get my babies to latch. Plus it was easier and more convenient to offer a bottle than to get them to latch.

Still, I wanted to offer my babies breast milk. If I can't get them to latch, I will just pump and feed the breast milk by bottle. So I kept on pumping. However, I still think that the amount of milk I pump is not enough. The most that I was able to pump in a day is 7 ounces.

Now, I am feeling down again. 2 days ago, I was able to pump twice only as I went out. I was able to express 3 oz. only. Today, I've pumped thrice already but has been able to express 70 ml only or around 2 oz. I'm feeling sad because I want to be able to provide breast milk as long as I can. What if my supply is starting to dry out already? It has only been a month and a week.

My Last Ultrasound

My babies at 34 weeks...

Twins' 4d ultrasound

We were so excited to see how our angels look like so even if it was quite expensive, hubby and I decided to have a 4d ultrasound done on me. We had ours at OGUSCA in their Festival mall branch. Luckily, they had a discount at that time.

(Max at 30 weeks)

(Lex at 30 weeks)

Inside Mommy pictures

Twins are monitored more frequently than singletons. Hence, more ultrasound pictures. I always looked forward to seeing them move on screen. It reassured me that they were doing fine...

(twins at around 11 weeks)

(twins at 21 weeks; this is when we found out we were having girls--well, one was surely a girl)

(twin A at 25 weeks)

(twin B at 25 weeks)

Memorable Day

I can still remember the day when I found out we were having twins. It was March 11, 2010.

I was scheduled for my 1st ultrasound. I was having some abdominal pains and my OB wanted to be sure that everything was ok. I was on my 7th week at that time. I went alone because my husband was away on a business trip. I was scared because it was my first time to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound plus no one was there to hold my hand.

The OB-sonologist was not even that accommodating and friendly. Medyo mataray pa siya and pinagalitan pa niya ako na huwag daw ako malakas magbreathe in and out kasi daw nahihirapan siya. I was waiting for her to explain the procedure to me or to show me the screen. Pero wala. I just heard her call her assistant and asked her to look at the screen. After that, that's when she told me " dalawa ito". I was so surprised and happy. She then let me hear the heartbeat. Super super happy!!!! I couldn't wait to tell my hubby. When I went down to pay for the ultrasound, I called my husband and begged him to answer my call ( he was in a meeting). I told him we were having twins and he couldn't believe it! Ako rin, hindi rin ako makapaniwala! I asked my Dad to call me as he was overseas and then I called my mother in law. At that time, ang pagkakaalam namin, walang history ng twins on both sides so we were all surprised. I texted and called up some of my relatives and friends. They were all shocked hahahaha! Joe and I were just so thankful to the Lord for the wonderful news.

Below is the very first picture of our twins...

Thank you

Prayer in Thanks of a Safe Delivery

Good Saint Gerard, patron of mothers, assist me in thanking God for the great gift of motherhood. During the months of my waiting, I learned to call upon you and placed the safety of my child and myself under your powerful protection. The great lesson of your trust in God sustained me; your slogan, "God will provide," became my hope and consolation. I thank God for my child and for motherhood. Help me to prize the great treasure of motherhood and obtain for me the grace to raise my child as a child of God.
Amen.

God is great! Thank you for our healthy twins!